All Hail the Boo Boo's
I remember weaning Peyton from the bottle. I truly thought it was going to be the most trying and difficult thing I had ever done. On the contrary, the little angel obeyed mommies wishes without any hesitation. The morning of his dentist appointment-a sweet 2 year old Peyton helped mom bag up his bottles and nipples to hand over to his dentist. Okay, so I lied and told him that ALL two year olds had to turn in their bottles to the dentist-it was against the law for him to still have them at that age. It worked like a charm....I was so proud of my little boy and my creative mind for coming up with this that I still glow about it. However, I am not being nearly as creative with coming up with a solution to get 19 month old Lucy off of my now very tired and lifeless breasts! The other day while standing in the kitchen.....Lucy was doing her little dance....."Boo Boo" she demanded while running in circles laughing. I was trying to think fast.....I grabbed at my chest, pretended I pulled my breasts off, crumpled the invisible boo boo’s up and threw them in the trash! She looked at me shocked as though she knows they are not detachable, however she did walk over to the trash can, crack it so her cabbage patch kid arm could fit in and waved bye bye to them. IT DIDN’T WORK! How do you convince them that enough is enough. I am desperate to wean.......everyone says, "Put your foot down, stick with it, she’ll get over it"..........my threshold for high pitch screams and antics are at a minimum these days. It’s not like these little bad boys supply her with nutrients at this point.....they supply her with comfort.....that’s about it. I do want her to feel comfortable.....just not hanging off of my now deflated chest. They were once perky......on the small side, but perky.....now they resemble a deflated balloon that’s been blown up and had the air let out 1,000 times.........at least I think they do, thank god I don’t have a full length mirror to examine them closer. I swear she comes near them and I hear them shriek! At this point she thinks she owns them......she lifts my shirt and if I place my hand in their vicinity to try and save them......she screams..."NO!" When did I sign the rights over on my body? OH...that’s right, when I had kids........I forgot I signed that paperwork in an Epidural and Pitocin induced high at the hospital!
Seriously, maybe we should hold an intervention at this point.....okay, she’s only 19 months-she can’t reason at all.....but there has to be some way to put a stop to all this madness! If she would promise to stop, I would do anything......ANYTHING to get her off. Walk on hot coals, no problem! Sleep on a bed of nails......piece of cake! I would dress as Dora and dance around the house daily....there is no telling what I will do. Well, pretty much anything but listen to the screaming antics of a breast starved 19 month old! Here is my plea for help......I need support, backing.....people to remind me that this is possible and it’s not forever.......she will eventually forget they are even there......at this point I just give in, cave......"HERE, TAKE THEM"-I shout at her...."JUST STOP CRYING!". I wish she could just take them......walk away and take them in the other room.....bring ‘em back when she’s done.....check ‘em back in like a library book. I know there will come a day when she’s grown and I will look back on all of this and remember it fondly, giggle at the promise that I made to myself to only breast feed until she was 6 months, twinge with pain when I remember clogged ducts. I will never look at my boo boo’s the same! These bad boys have not only fed and supplied this little one with the juice of life....but had the life sucked out of them and just keep on giving! ALL HAIL THE BOO BOO’S!